How to Use a Strap-On Dildo: A Practical Guide for Beginners

Quick answer

To use a strap-on dildo, start by choosing a comfortable, adjustable harness and a dildo that suits your experience level. Fit the harness snugly but not too tight, use plenty of lubricant, and communicate openly with your partner. Begin with easy positions like missionary or rear entry, and always prioritize safety and consent.

Strap-on play can be a fun and intimate addition to your sex life, whether you're exploring pegging, dual penetration, or simply wanting to try something new. The key to a great experience is preparation: choosing the right harness and dildo, fitting everything correctly, and using plenty of lube.

This guide walks you through the essentials, from selecting a harness to mastering comfortable positions. We'll also cover common mistakes and safety checkpoints so you and your partner can enjoy strap-on play with confidence.

Choose the Right Harness and Dildo

Your harness is the foundation of strap-on play. Look for one that is adjustable and made from a soft, stretchy material that fits snugly without digging in. For example, the Sportsheets Ultra Thigh Strap On features a 6-inch wide band in soft neoprene and a 1.75-inch nitrile O-ring that holds compatible dildos securely, making it a comfortable option for many body types.

For the dildo, beginners often prefer a smaller, softer option. Glass dildos, like the GLAS Chili Pepper Dill 8.25", are firm and can be used for temperature play, but they may not be ideal for those new to penetration. Silicone dildos with some flexibility and a flared base are usually the most comfortable for beginners. Ensure the base fits your harness's O-ring; if not, you may need a different ring size.

• Check the harness’s O-ring size and compatibility with your dildo before buying.

Fit the Harness Correctly

Proper fit is crucial for both comfort and stability. Put on the harness and adjust the straps so it feels secure but not too tight. You should be able to slide two fingers between the harness and your body. The O-ring should sit firmly against your pubic bone, not too high or too low, as this affects the angle and control of the dildo.

Many harnesses have hook-and-loop or buckled closures for easy adjustment. Take time to test different settings until you find what works for your body. If the harness has a bullet vibrator pocket, like the Packer Gear Jock Strap Harness, you can add extra stimulation for the wearer.

• Practice putting on and taking off the harness before your first session to build confidence.

Use Plenty of Lubricant

Lubricant is non-negotiable for comfortable strap-on play. Even if the receiver feels ready, the dildo needs ample lube to glide smoothly. Apply a generous amount to both the dildo and the receiver’s anal or vaginal opening. Reapply as needed during play—it’s better to use too much than too little.

Choose a lubricant that is compatible with your toy. Silicone-based lubes are long-lasting but can degrade silicone toys, so use water-based lube with silicone dildos. For glass or metal toys, either type works, but water-based is easier to clean up. Always have a towel nearby.

• Keep lube within arm’s reach so you can reapply without breaking the moment.

Start with Comfortable Positions

For your first experience, choose positions that give the wearer good control and allow the receiver to relax. Missionary with the receiver on their back and pillows under their hips is a classic choice. Rear entry (doggy style) is also popular because it allows for easy angle adjustments. Or, try lying on your sides facing each other for a more intimate, less intense angle.

Move slowly and communicate constantly. The receiver should control the pace initially, guiding the wearer with verbal or non-verbal cues. Use your hands to guide the dildo in, and don't be afraid to stop and reposition if it feels uncomfortable. Remember, it’s okay to take breaks.

• Start with shallow thrusts and gradually increase depth only when the receiver is comfortable.

Focus on Safety and Hygiene

Safety is paramount in strap-on play. Always clean your dildo and harness before and after each use with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner. If you switch between anal and vaginal use, wash the dildo thoroughly or use a condom to prevent bacterial transfer.

Use the bathroom before anal play and consider practicing with a smaller toy if you’re new to anal penetration. If you feel pain, stop immediately. Pain is not normal and could indicate a lack of lubrication or a need to change positions. Listen to your body and your partner's.

• Always use a condom on the dildo for easy clean-up and to extend the life of your toy.

Your Step-by-Step Strap-On Checklist

1. Pick your harness and dildo: Choose a comfortable, adjustable harness and a dildo with a flared base that fits your experience level. Check O-ring compatibility. Checkpoint: The dildo should sit snugly in the O-ring without slipping.
2. Fit the harness: Put on the harness and adjust all straps so it feels secure but not too tight. Ensure the O-ring sits against your pubic bone. Checkpoint: You should be able to insert two fingers under the harness—any tighter can restrict blood flow.
3. Apply lube generously: Lubricate the dildo and the receiver’s opening. Use water-based lube with silicone toys and reapply often. Checkpoint: If you feel any friction, stop and add more lube.
4. Start slow with a comfortable position: Begin with missionary or rear entry, moving slowly and letting the receiver guide the pace. Communicate continuously. Checkpoint: Use shallow thrusts initially and increase depth only when the receiver is ready.
5. Clean up thoroughly: After play, wash the dildo and harness with soap and water or toy cleaner. If switching between anal and vaginal, use a condom to prevent infection. Checkpoint: Always store toys separate and dry thoroughly to prevent damage.

Products That Help

• Sportsheets Ultra Thigh Strap On: The Sportsheets® ULTRA THIGH STRAP ON is built with a 6" wide band in soft, stretchy neoprene making it comfortable for all bodies, and set with a fully stitched and reinforced 1.75" (4.5 cm) nitrile O Ring that securely holds the compatible Sportsheets® dildo of your choice. This harness offers a comfortable, customizable fit with a sturdy O-ring, making it a reliable choice for beginners.
• Packer Gear Jock Strap Harness in Black: The Packer Gear Jock Strap the ultra-soft strap on harness designed with powerful performance and stretch-to-fit comfort in mind. This classic harness has a supportive extra-wide waistband, soft stretchy material and internal straps for the ultimate support. The extra-wide waistband and stretch-to-fit design provide stability and comfort, while the internal straps ensure a secure hold even during active play.

Using a strap-on dildo can be a rewarding experience for you and your partner. By choosing the right equipment, fitting it properly, and communicating throughout, you'll build confidence and enjoy the journey. Start simple, stay safe, and let pleasure guide the way.